I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
