There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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