we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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