She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm just crazy horny about you
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
