Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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