i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
