Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
