I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
