Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
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Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
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If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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