I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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