where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
A+ Viking dick
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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