I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
