its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
