my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
