your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
