Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
