he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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