I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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