Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
