It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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