I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize