ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Let's get the cat blown out
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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