Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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