I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
