What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
This is the prime rib incident all over again
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
