Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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