Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
