You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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