you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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