she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
