what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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