And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
