It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
