Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
