i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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