dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
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He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
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If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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