Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize