you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
