Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize