I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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