hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
