I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
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