i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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