i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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