you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
