She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
