just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
