Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
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She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
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I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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