i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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