No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
being pregnant is like rehab
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
