you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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