did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
