we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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