Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
