the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
