ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
