i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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