Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
