i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
