She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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