It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
