My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
