When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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