She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize